This is not a blog!

September 17, 2009

Explaining email to mom

Filed under: Funny,Quote — vitalyb @ 3:05 pm

Mom STILL doesn’t have her own mail. I guess that explains the following conversation:

[On the phone]
Mom: What’s your email? I want to send you pictures from my boss computer email.
Me: You should really get your own mail. But okay, “v”, “i”, “t”.
Mom: Wait, wait. Capital or small letters?
Me: …….Small. Okay. Going on: “a” “l” “y” “b” at gmail…
Mom: Wait! Do is there a “space” between “y” and “b”?
Me: ………………..No, there isn’t.

I guess I should explain mom all about ^([0-9a-zA-Z]+[-._+&])*[0-9a-zA-Z]+@([-0-9a-zA-Z]+[.])+[a-zA-Z]{2,6}$ one day.

March 28, 2009

Twitter’s privacy

Filed under: Friends,Funny,Injoke,Quote — vitalyb @ 3:56 pm

[3:51 PM] vitalyb1984: yes. It is so dauntinc @ twitter that it is so public
[3:51 PM] vitalyb1984: yet if it was private I prob wouldn’t write
[3:52 PM] Eli: daunting?
[3:52 PM] vitalyb1984: yes
[3:52 PM] vitalyb1984: I can’t write personal stuff
[3:52 PM] vitalyb1984: so I write about doplhins having nasal sex. E.g:
“Nasal Sex – Amazon River Dolphins perform homosexual penetration of the blowhole, the only known example of nasal sex.” 4:06 AM Nov 21st 2008
[3:52 PM] vitalyb1984: instead of what really worries me
[3:52 PM] Eli: er yeah
[3:52 PM] Eli: …
[3:52 PM] Eli: you could be ambiguous
[3:53 PM] vitalyb1984: right
[3:53 PM] vitalyb1984: I was.
[3:53 PM] vitalyb1984: It wasn’t the dolphins who had nasal sex.
[3:53 PM] vitalyb1984: BAM

March 24, 2009

Daily nightmare

Filed under: Blogroll,Friends,Injoke,Israel — vitalyb @ 8:58 pm
Nightmare sources

Nightmare story

I’m having an argument with someone from workplace. We agree to settle our differences by a 3rd party, in this case, his girlfriend. She declares me guilty and I lie down on a rack. He starts to punch the rack from behind, eventually PUNCTURING my the rack, my back and having a bloody hand come from my chest.

I wake up. More WTFed than scared then go back to sleep.

I am amongst some kind of horrible African natives (strangely, they are white) that say I must set myself on fire and die for them to communicate with their Gods. I try to argue but they convince me with their logic. I get out a box of matches, lit one and press it against my chest, not much happens  however. The African natives start giving me tips, “Try burning somewhere with hair!”, “Try your armpit!”, “The pubic area!”. Eventually someone gives a good tip, “Try to lit the hair! You have lots of it!”. Soon enough I catch fire and nothing of me remains except some dust and the brains.

The brain is taken to some sort of futuristic lab in which it is analyzed to understand more about my life traumas. The interfaces shows that I was anally raped when I was 11. Quite shocked to discover that fact I try to recollect what happened then and I recall of some wedding I attended in which, indeed, I was raped by the wedding go-go dancer.

I wake up again. This time to go to work.
</END>

March 11, 2009

Quote

Filed under: Friends,Funny,Tech — vitalyb @ 2:24 pm
Omer (aka developer of cancer related medical equipment):
can’t talk now, busy, debugging MSCorp MemLeakProvider

Me (aka developer in Microsoft corp):
ah, sorry about that. It must’ve been destructive for your CancerDeployer component
Next Page »

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.